Too Poor, but Always Rich

The past few nights, I've gone to bed crying. Why does life have to be so hard I wonder? Why do we work so hard...just to be broke? How did I end up pregnant with no financial means to deliver this baby? Ooh, I just can't shut my brain up. I think of all the things that have gone wrong in my life or that aren't going to go right no matter how hard I try and it kills me.

On the other hand, I have so many things to be happy about...it's just hard to see the good when your mind is clouded with thoughts of how you're going to put food on the table for one week until payday when all the money is eaten up by bills once again.

I am now working full time at a daycare center that gives me full benefits, paid time off, and a 20% discount on my child care. It truly is a blessing because they pay me more than any other daycare would pay because it's run through a hospital. I get normal working hours so I can be home with my family in the evenings, and I work with two wonderful women.

We live in a beautiful place and it's so peaceful. My husband is always there for me, I have a baby that I feel move inside of me everyday, and the sweetest little girl. I have a clean house, I can cook and I have good friends. So why does money matter? I don't know...it makes the stinking world go around and I keep getting stuck on it's evil carousal ride that spins me so fast I can't seem to catch all my barrings. They say hard work pays off...I know it will...so until then, I will pursue happiness in other areas of my life and try not to break myself worrying about my bills.