Hooray for Beer Bread!

Want to try making the easiest, tastiest bread on the planet? This Beer Bread is a true culinary delight, and will surely make everyone who tries it, crave it for breakfast, lunch and dinner! I recently started making this hearty, buttery bread for dinner and my husband who is a true food critic, said it was just as good (I think it's better) as my homemade biscuits! Here is the easy, fool-proof recipe!

3 Cups Flour, sifted (you HAVE to sift or your bread turns out like a brick!)
3 Tsp Baking Powder (omit if using self-rising flour)
1 Tsp Salt (omit if using self-rising flour)
1/4 Cup Sugar
1 12 Oz Beer
1/4 Cup Butter (real butter people!), melted

Sift dry ingredients together, and slowly add in beer. This dough will be very sticky, but you don't need to further knead it or handle it with your hands at all. Pour into a greased bread pan and pour your melted butter over top of your dough. Bake in pre-heated oven for 1 hour at 375 degrees, and let cool for 15 minutes.

Voila! You now know the secret to happiness. It's all I can do not to eat more than 2 pieces of this yummy stuff. Darn Weight Watchers! :) Happy Beer Bread making!

Beginning of the End, Part II

I remember taking a camping trip up to the beautiful Mountains of Burney, California with Ryan, his brother and sister-in-law. I didn't think about the pregnancy once and felt a sense of peace that I had not felt in a long time. On the five hour drive home, I remember talking about the pregnancy with Ryan. He told me to do what I wanted but that a baby would ruin us. I tried getting him excited, but it wasn't working. He was newly 21, and enjoying his freedom as a young man, out on his own. He wasn't walking with the Lord, and either was I. I know God was trying to speak to me, to get my attention at that time in my life...but I ignored Him. I listened to the Earthly voices, instead of the Divine and Heavenly.

I had an appointment with my OB (who at this time was under the impression that I was keeping the baby) and I was 12 weeks along. It was time for an ultra-sound! I was so excited! I knew that if everyone 'saw' my baby, they would want me to keep it! I had the ultra-sound done and couldn't help but grin from ear to ear because of the miracle I saw moving all around inside of me. I saw 'his' little nose, toes and arms, moving all about. I was so excited, and in love. My doctor printed some pictures of the scan and even printed little words on them that said, "I love Mommy" and "I love Daddy". I couldn't wait to show everyone!

I remember how excited I was, and how nobody else was. It was a let-down, like you can't even imagine. I still told myself I was going to keep my baby. People would get over it.

Ryan and I kept talking about things. The more and more I talked to him, the more and more I saw he didn't want this baby. I now know he was just as confused as I was...because there were days where he said he thought it would be a good thing to keep the baby. We were both young, and lost. There weren't many folks there offering help and support. It was a cold world we were living in.

One day, I decided to just 'get it over with' (are you confused yet? Imagine how the inside of my brain looked!). I was sick of the pressure and pain I was suffering from my friends and family. I was never right about the facts I presented about abortion and I was always presented with statistics and scientific studies on why I was wrong. Abortion was just too accepted, and still is. Too many who have never had one, support it...and too many women who have experienced it, are too afraid to stand up against it because they are too ashamed.

I made an appointment with an abortion clinic in San Francisco and Ryan and I drove down. I stared out the window the whole way down to the city, thinking about how I really didn't want to do what I was about to do. When we got there, we were greeted by a young woman in stark-white, nursing attire, and probably about 15 pro-life activists trying to persuade me out of walking into that clinic. The nurse told me not to listen to them. So I tried not to. I just smiled politely and walked inside, wondering if they could've steered me in the right direction. When we got inside, I was seated in an office and felt quite numb. Ryan and I talked with the doctor who was to preform the abortion and after she told us the costs we decided to see if Kaiser preformed them.

We left the clinic in San Francisco and called up Kaiser in Santa Rosa. They told us they did preform abortions and that it would only cost us around 30 dollars, and the insurance would cover the rest. I honestly don't know how I agreed to have an abortion looking back now. I think when one is under so much stress and dealing with so much, it's hard to make wise decisions. Either way, I made the decision to have the abortion whether I wanted to or not.

The days before my abortion, I went in to be dilated by the doctor who was to do the abortion. I kept asking him all sorts of questions and was bawling intermittently. He told me how they preformed the abortion (which I can't write about because it will make me sick, but you can Google second trimester abortions) and then he told me he would not preform an abortion on someone who was as emotional and scared as I was, and I got sent home. When I got home, I told my mom and Ryan about how he wouldn't preform the abortion. I don't remember the reactions, and to be perfectly honest, I don't remember much from that point on. It's amazing how your mind will block certain things out...even things as big as abortion.

Somehow, I ended up back into the office of the doctor who sent me away days earlier. I tried my hardest to keep a straight face (numb again) and to not let my emotional side come out. I ended up getting dilated with these little seaweed sticks that got shoved into my cervix and from there began to expand and slowly dilate me. It was very painful and I remember I got sick a few times because of the pain and because of the thought of what I was really doing. I remember getting a voice mail from Ryan when I got back out to the Kaiser parking lot, telling me that I didn't have to do what I was about to do. I could hear the sorrow in his voice, but I felt that it was over and I would not be jumping through anymore emotional hoops at this time. I felt deeply saddened and ashamed. I got home, and jumped onto my bed where I started to cry and ask myself why I was going through with this awful thing. My mom came in and I remember telling her how my heart was aching so bad because my baby didn't have a choice. That I was ending it's life and how I didn't have the right to call any body's shots at life, but I was.

The morning of my abortion, we got to the hospital very early in the morning. I checked in and remember the check-in clerk asking me if I wanted a Chaplain to come and visit with me. I thought I would make a dumb joke by saying, "I don't think the Chaplain would want to come visit with me if he knew what I was doing." The guy didn't think it was funny...and I knew, it wasn't. Me trying to make any light of this whatsoever was a terrible thing to do.

I waited for my name to be called from the waiting room. They brought me into a more 'sterile' waiting room filled with other patients for various surgeries, where I had to put on the whole surgery gig. The hat, the booties and the gown. Then they proceeded to hook me up to IVs and such. I started panicking, and started crying uncontrollably again. The doctor had showed up, and I knew the time was coming for my 'procedure'. When the doctor came up to me, I started crying even harder and was begging for them not to do this. He calmly reassured me that what I was feeling was normal and then I remember I started laughing! They gave me some sort of drug in my IV that made me laugh. I was so confused. I then remember getting wheeled into a big room and being centered directly in the middle of it. I remember a bright light above me and the doctor in his mask and doctor garb hovering over me saying I was going to go to sleep now. That's all I remember.

When I woke up, I felt blood gushing out of me. They had already wheeled me out to recovery and when the nurse sat me up, I felt even more blood come out. I felt relieved in a way. It must have been the temporary 'denial' setting in. Ryan came in, and knelt at my side. He was teary-eyed and I remember telling him, "This is what you wanted, and now you're crying?!". I was still drugged up, and feeling very little emotion. My mom then came in and I don't remember anything that was said really. My mom and Ryan drove me home. I can't remember anything about the next few days or weeks even, besides what my mom did the afternoon I got home from killing my baby. I was sitting on the porch, smoking a cigarette, and my mom went for a walk. She was looking rather melancholy. She later told me that she took my 12 week ultrasound pictures and walked to the miniature park and grieved. At this point I was just thinking how I couldn't believe everyone was grieving over something they wanted. I wouldn't have gone through all of this trouble if I would have known this is how everyone was going to react.

[I realize that my story bounces all over the place, and maybe certain things happened before others...but it's truly hard for me to remember the exact details of every bump in the road in this story. You'll have to bear with me. Like I said before, my mind has blocked a lot of this out and I have to really try to remember certain things.]

I felt a false sense of relief for the first month or so after the abortion. I went on with life like nothing had ever happened. Maybe a little longer, I'm not sure. It wasn't until Thanksgiving at Ryan's mom's house that I came unglued. We were surrounded by a few of Ryan's close family members and I felt like something was missing. I also noticed I was trying to cover up the fact I had just had an abortion. I felt shamed and dirty. These people were not judging me, but yes, I'm sure they all knew the truth. I remember I started crying and ended up in the bathroom for most of the get together because I couldn't keep it together. My mom came in a few times and decided I needed to go home.

She was driving me home and I was sitting in the backseat saying that I hated myself for doing what I did and that I wanted more than anything to take it back. I felt so emotionally sick and I don't think I could ever describe it. It was a loss that could never be replaced. It was a tragedy that I placed on myself and now I was dealing with the aftermath. Oh, but this was just the beginning. I didn't realize that a month or so down the line, I would be dealing with severe depression episodes and Obsessive Compulsive behaviors that I would carry into my next pregnancy, which would then develop into severe Postpartum Depression/OCD.

When my mental state quickly began deteriorating, I sank into a deep depression of guilt and overall sadness. I didn't have a clue what was going on with me, except for the fact that it was not normal. My relationship with Ryan was turning sour because of my mental damage and I also started having very disturbing intrusive thoughts and frightening flashbacks of the actual abortion (which I was totally knocked out for). My mind would start drifting off and I would see the bright lights shining on my body, what looked to be students surrounding the operating table, and the abortion taking place. I still have these horrifying flashbacks. They were especially bad when I went in for my c-section with my first daughter. I relived the abortion all over again, but ended up with a beautiful outcome...Halie Karissa. I now have Post Tramatic Stress Syndrome.

I have finally dealt with the depression and OCD, but dealt with it for over a year before seeking help. I still think of this terrible experience everyday, but know that my child is in the arms of a merciful Father and is safe and loved. I can't turn back time but I know that I have been forgiven and will always live my life defending innocent babies and the confused mothers of them who are faced with the choice that I had to make, from now on.

Now I have two beautiful girls, and my husband and I have promised eachother, and God that we will never give eachother the choice to abort another innocent being, ever again.

The moral of the story is, ABORTION IS MURDER BECAUSE IT KILLS BABIES AND HURTS MOMMIES.

The Beginning of the End

On October 30th, 2003, I made a decision that would change my life forever. I aborted my child, at 17 weeks pregnant. I feel convicted to write about my experience, to spread the truth about how abortion hurts women, and kills babies, everyday, every minute and every second.

At the beginning of August, 2003, I discovered I was pregnant. I was just about to enter my senior year in high school, and was in a serious relationship with my (now husband) boyfriend of almost two years. We had discussed various birth control options, and even tried a few. Right before I got pregnant, I had a colposcopy (a biopsy of the cervix) to rule out any suspicions of cervical cancer since my pap had come back abnormal. I was told not to have sex for a month, so I quit my birth control and ended up (obviously) having sex and conceiving my first child.

I remember feeling two emotions when I found out about my new pregnancy. The first emotion was, shock. I was shocked that I was really pregnant and shocked about my future life as a mother. My second emotion was, joy. I was overcome with joy that I was going to be a mother, not thinking of how anyone would react or try to influence me in any other direction. I was keeping this baby!

Sadly, my friends and family around me, didn't see this news the way I wanted them too. I was pummeled with everyone's, "You will ruin your life!" and "You are too young." and "Your relationship with Ryan will deteriorate!" I had one person in my life that was supportive of what I wanted, my Mother-In-Law. I clung to her, although ultimately I felt the hot coals being dumped on my head from the rest of the world to do what they thought was right.

Kaiser Permanente was my health care provider at the time, and I'm sure they were just as confused (if not more) as I was about my flip-flopping decision to keep, or end my pregnancy. One minute I would tell them that I wanted this baby more than life itself, and the next I was telling them I was going to have an abortion, and would make all these excuses and justify my reasoning some how, even though I knew in my heart it was the wrong choice, and I was just making that choice to make everyone leave me alone.

I met up with Pregnancy Counseling Center in Santa Rosa, California one day after work because I was so stressed and emotional over the decision at hand. I didn't realize they were a Christian organization until I started talking to them. There were two, nice ladies that brought me into a dimly lit, small room, with three comfy chairs, some simple artwork on the walls and a feeling of peace and reassurance that I truly needed to feel at that moment. They started talking to me about how there was no positive thing that came out of abortion, and explained to me all the risks associated with one, but also gave me support, saying that I could do anything, even with a baby. They sent me off with a yellow piece of paper, that had all the risks associated with abortion listed on it. I probably read that paper a thousand times.

I started sharing this Pro-Life information (it's TRUE information) on abortion with everyone. I wanted everyone to know what would happen to me if I had an abortion. I had my face spit on, to be perfectly honest. Nobody cared why or how it happened, or how I would be emotionally and mentally changed from an abortion...they just wanted to see my LIFE get back on track!

To Be Continued...

Oh Little Coupe

Today I handed the keys over to my little, red, coupe. My 99' Honda that I would drive on the country roads to our home, in the summertime, with the windows rolled up, being careful to avoid the monster grasshoppers I was deathly afraid of (still am) that always managed to flock my windshield. The car that booked it to 80 miles to Billings in the dead of a cold December night, so I could deliver my baby. I've even bogged through snow drifts a few times and it's never let me down (OK, I got stuck on our road in a huge mud puddle once).

Debt is something most of us don't exactly like hanging around, so we decided it was time to get rid of my little car, to avoid future payments on it. Getting rid of that makes half of our grocery bill! Now I have my Camry Wagon to ride around in...and yes, I do like my wagon, mind you. We'll be getting rid of our camper next and a few other odds and ends. Things are tight when Momma stays home, but it's SO worth it.

So my little coupe is now at the car lot, on consignment. I hope it's future driver is blessed with the luck it shared with me.

Spice My Chai!

Chai has become one of my favorite beverages, but it's so stinkin' expensive! I've been on a mission for awhile now to find a good recipe (and yes, I have found one that I will share another time) but till I get to Billings, and get the ingredients to make a huge batch of it, I've been drinking Oregon Chai, and spicing it up. Their chai just doesn't do it for me without me mixing my own spices in with it. So here's what I add (in case you're wondering how to spice up your chai life too)!

1/2 Cup Oregon Chai
1/2 Cup Soy (or regular milk)
1/4 Teaspoon ground, Ginger
1/4 Teaspoon ground, Cloves
Dash of white (or black) Pepper
A tad of Cardamom if you wish!

And Voila! The perfect cup of chai! I love a good, not to sweet, spicy chai! I'll post my recipe for Instant, Spiced Chai next time (made from scratch, YUM)!

My Own, Contradiction

A few months ago, I was really having a hard time deciding whether or not to vaccinate and wrote a post on how I supported vaccinations. Halie is totally current on the CDC schedule of vaccines (I never thought to study things like shots when she was born...did everything to the book), but Katelynn has been behind for almost six months, due to my avoiding it. I thought I believed that I needed to vaccinate, but now I'm really starting to feel opposite about my past-feelings, again. I'm starting to feel like 'shots' are just another way for the big-man at the top of companies like GlaxoSmithKline to make another buck. I'm starting to think that there really is a link to autism and SIDS due to vaccination. There's proof everywhere you look! Yes, the chances are small, I'm sure. But do I want to take that risk? Yes, I know the other side of the coin too. I guess I'm just not willing to shoot formaldehyde, thimiserol and other icky toxins into my kid's arm anymore! Do your research, make your own decision, and don't judge mine.

Late Night, Early Morning.

My eyes are burning as I try to find something quiet to do on the computer to tantalize my boredom pangs at 3 a.m. It's not like I do anything noisy on the computer at wee hours of the morning (yawn), but I can't clang dishes or flip lights on while everyone is sleeping. Wondering why I'm awake? Lets blame that on the guy that built our house who was obviously thinking that he was still in California at the time of construction.

The pipes in our home are in the attic like that of a home in California. Yes there is a little insulation, but there's only so much that insulation can do when it's -11 outside. Yep, it's cold! This freezing weather has hubby and me switching shifts at night to feed our wood stoves and check on dripping faucets. We have both of our stoves going, bathroom faucets dripping and portable heaters in the attic, bathroom and in Katelynn's unfinished room.

Ryan stayed up till 3, and is now in bed. I went to bed at 9, and got up at 3 with a not-so-jolly attitude. Usually I'm not so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed at hours like this. Props to my husband for being able to be up so late...or early...or whatever because I couldn't do it. I am definitely the opposite of a night owl. What would you call that? I believe the term would be, Granny, though I'm quite the young Granny I suppose.

My View on Vaccines

Both of my girls are current on vaccines. Halie got her first shot minutes after she was born, and Katelynn, about 4 months after she was born. Why did I wait the second time around? There is just so so so much controversy over the whole vaccine ordeal that I wasn't really aware of until I became pregnant with Katelynn, that I kept flip flopping on my decision to get her the shots I feared, or not.

I did a lot of research supporting both sides, and decided I needed to make a decision and stick to it. Should I take the risk of my child becoming infected with meningitis or whooping cough at a young age where in that case, one of those diseases could be potentially deadly if I chose not to vaccinate? Or should I vaccinate knowing that there is a small percent of a reaction and possible injury or death occurring from those shots? Those are two heavy things to think about. Especially when it involves your children.

After going back and forth with my fears and concerns, I knew that the right thing was to get the shots done because ultimately, the benefits of those shots outweigh the risks tenfold. Considering how people died from these terrible diseases (polio, pertussis, tetanus, hep b etc) not even a hundred years ago, and now...there have hardly been any cases of those diseases in America since vaccines became available to protect against them.

It took me awhile to figure things out, but I got it right, and now I can rest easy knowing I did the right thing for my children in making the choice to get them vaccinated. They are both happy, healthy girls and I don't regret my decision at all to vaccinate.

Trying New Things

I've discovered in having my second child, that it can be quite the hindrance at times when it comes to bed times, dinner and one-on-one time with my hubby and 3 year old. Don't get me wrong, I love Katelynn so much and wouldn't do anything to change things, but I just feel like I get nowhere sometimes because she requires so much extra of me. That sounds so bad, I know, but it's not like that at all. I guess I can't describe how I truly feel without sounding like a terrible, unappreciative mother. Halie was my easy baby, and I always find myself comparing Katelynn to her, and going back to the same parenting techniques I used before. I have to constantly remind myself that Katelynn is not Baby Halie so therefore, needs to be brought up differently to suite hers and our needs. She's not a bad baby, she's just different and has a bit more of a 'kick' to her. She keeps me on my toes and then some.

Bedtime, I dread putting little Katelynn down for the night because it usually doesn't happen how I want. Every time I nurse and comfort her to sleep, creep slowly to her crib and ever so gently set her down, she awakes, frantic and screaming for me to pick her up again. Aye! This goes on for typically 2 hours or so until I'm so frustrated and drained I just let her scream and I go in my room and stick a pillow over top my head. She'll scream (bless her) for HOURS sometimes.

Last night, I decided something had to change. My whole family is stressed out because of her little cry-fests, so we decided to set her a bedtime, and make a routine that we can stick to for every night of the week until she is able to fall asleep without mommy right there for hours. I was thinking, Halie goes to bed around 8ish so I would start putting Katelynn down around 7 so I could have some time with Halie before she hit the hay. Sounds good, right? Here we go!

Tonight, I gave Katelynn her dinner, we walked around outside and watched Halie ride her bike until about 6:30. Then we went in for a bath while Halie stayed out with Daddy and splashed around in there for about 15 minutes. I dried her little baby bod off, rubbed her down with lotion and put her p.j.'s on. Then we nursed and I sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star thinking that if I started singing that song every night, she would soon start to realize that we were close to bedtime and it would be easier for her to get to bed once I set her down in her crib...awake. She decided she was done nursing after about 5 minutes, so I gave her a kiss and a cuddle, set her in her crib and told her 'night night, I love you' before walking out of the room. Feeling confident about the night, I decided to go outside and have some one-on-one time with God. It was great. I got to enjoy his presence undisturbed and tell Him all about the night and how much I needed his support and love through this whole routine thing. Although Katelynn cried for a good 45 minutes, I feel things will improve if I press on with what I started (something I'm terrible at).

Solids, Sitting up and Shawmut House

Katelynn is sitting up now! It goes by so much faster the second time...watching your child grow that is. Both my girls started sitting up around five months and it's such a proud feeling watching your children grow and reach all of their milestones accordingly. Crawling will be soon to follow I'm sure. Just seeing how happy my little baby gets when she looks up at me after I've set her down on the floor to sit, makes my heart melt. They're so precious.

Halie was never big on solids until around 9-10 months old it seems. Katelynn on the other hand has been snaring at whatever we're eating since she was about four months, so I started her on solids. The first few weeks, it was just a little bit of really runny cereal, but she gobbled it down. Today, we started sweet potatoes and she loves those. We're taking it slow, but if it were up to her, she'd be eating steak and potatoes I'm sure. Still nursing too. About every 3 hours. She's at the day care now, so I go nurse her when they call to say she's hungry and that way, I don't have to pump because MAN! Pumping is a pain when you're working practically full-time and still trying to maintain a household and be a good mommy and wife in your spare time.

Our house is really coming along. My hubby is pulling in a lot of extra side jobs right now so we're able to afford things we weren't planning on buying till next summer. It's great. I'm in a great spot right now. I love where we live, I have a few great friends that I've become close to, I'm discovering more about myself and my relationship with God and things are just really coming together for my family. I'm so blessed. My marriage has improved greatly since we've had less stress in our lives and are finally getting the ball rolling with our house.

Baby Fuzzies

While I'm not working my one or two days at the coffee shop, I'm loving up babies. It's great. You should try it sometime. There's nothing better than smelling and nuzzling a warm little baby body. It's like aromatherapy...smelling a baby, that is. It's just so comforting and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I was working at Snowy Mountain today and was having Russell withdrawals because I hadn't seen him in two days and I was starting to feel the effects. You see, Russ is my friend Amy's baby and I get the privilege of watching him while she works. He is so sweet and laid back. I could just eat him up. Anyhoo, she brought baby Russ to have lunch at the shop today and it's funny how he affected me just like my own little Katelynn does. I guess I'll let you figure that one out...but it has something to do with lactating...thought you might like to know because you read my blog and if you read my blog...you must be interested in all the little details of my life, right? Good.

I go to Amy's and watch baby Russ, and I get to bring my own sweet girls along. We have fun. Halie is my diaper tosser. She enjoys that job so I let her toss dirty diapers and bring me blankets and pacifiers. She loves helping and I love that she enjoys helping mommy, even if it's just doing little things for me here and there.

Next week, I get two more kiddos! Baby Landon and Halie's friend Kieryn. That should be interesting. I'll try it on and if I can handle five kids then we'll continue on through the summer. So that makes three little babies, and two toddling girlies. I'm thrilled!!!

This is...

Snowy Mountain Coffee in Harlowton, Montana. I started working here part-time about two weeks ago and I absolutely love it! They roast their own coffee and have the BEST chai and blended lattes I've ever had. MUCH better than Starbucks.

I never thought making espresso and Gyros could be so satisfying...but it just is. Maybe it's the fact that I get a break from the kids twice a week. Or maybe it's the fact that I get to drink the best darn lattes that I get the satisfaction of making for myself. I do have to say that I love working with one of my bestest girlies Melody too. We have too much fun, us two!

What's funny is, how many variations of the same drink you can make and how very important it is to get the right consistency for the foam you put into folks drinks. I'm learning a lot about being a Barista but it's all fun and smiles...with the occasional grumpy customer that comes in.

The only thing I'm really scared of is that vug under the rug (just kidding...line out of Dr. Suess' There's a Wocket in my Pocket). No but really, there's one of those commercial grade meat-slicers and it just gives me the heeby jeebies because one time I saw a girl take a nice chunk out of her finger at a deli. Not so cool. Melody is helping me get over my fear though. Wanna know how? Ok, I'll tell ya. She pretty much says if I don't do it...she'll beat me...and I don't want a beatin' from Melody. I've seen the way she man-handles John and I just don't want to go there with her. Yeah, that was a lie. But I fear the Melodious beating anyway.

Promise me you'll never ever buy this stuff. I did, and I'm in big trouble. The good news? I'm getting a Stair Master tomorrow. Bad news? I can't change the fact that I bought this sinfully delicious ice-cream that I will forever carry around on my thighs. It was love at first bite.

Postpartum Cravings

I didn't really have any major cravings while pregnant. It was nice because I was able to maintain a good weight for my already overweight frame.

Lets make a quick comparison: 1st baby I gained about 60 pounds
2cnd baby I only gained 30 pounds.

Good, right? I think so.

So here I am, battling these cravings that I have decided to link to being a postpartum mommy. Not sure if me being able to eat two dozen peanut butter cookies is related to that or not...or if scarfing down three scoops of ice-cream in one sitting is either...but that's my story and I'm stickin' to it! Got it? Good!

You see, during my pregnancy, I actually didn't eat all that much. Ok, ok...sometimes I did. But towards the end I couldn't hardly stomach eating dinner with my family or swallowing a bite of ground beef or frog legs or calf fritters or a good ol' booger. Sweets was another thing nixed out of the pregnancy diet completely. I didn't have a sweet tooth whatsoever, so why now? Why now when I want to lose weight do my doorknob hormones decide to put me through such agony? I can't resist my urges to eat such divine desserts and I can feel the Crisco, cream and sugar filling my soul (and my butt).
She thinks it's hilarious...it's all her fault...she's evil...and cute...and GOSH I love her...the end.

Katelynn Miranda

December 18th, 2007 is a night I won't forget. It was 11 p.m. and I was sound asleep when suddenly awakened by some of the most memorable pain I will ever experience in all my life. 'This must be contractions' I thought. I tried closing my eyes again thinking I was probably wrong...but then BOOM! Another one hit...hard. I got up, walked around and decided to start timing them. 8 minutes apart. Yup, this was the real thing. My midwife said to call when I was having contractions 8 minutes apart that I couldn't walk or talk through. So I called in and she told me to hang for a little while longer until they were five minutes apart...unless my water broke. So guess what? A little while later I went to the bathroom and low and behold...my water broke. Woke hubby up, got Halie ready to go to the neighbor's and bolted down to Billings. MAN! That was the longest drive of my life. What took an hour felt like ten hours as my contractions were NOT like I had imagined. Ha, I thought they would be like the braxton hicks I was experiencing but stronger. Boy was I wrong! I got to the hospital and then everything was kind of a blur, besides the pain that blindsided me every five minutes now. I finally broke and asked for an epidural. The best thing at the time, but later something I would regret getting as I got a terrible spinal headache after they removed it. So now I have this epidural...and life is good. I fall asleep, and then start waking up as I feel as if something is coming out of me. I call for the nurse and she checks me. "You're fully dilated! And that baby is coming!" So in comes the midwife, and it's time to start pushing. Fifteen minutes or so, I am holding my new baby girl in my arms and am totally amazed at how different an experience this is compared to my cesarean with Halie. 7 pounds, 2 oz...19 1/4 inches long...and totally PERFECT. She was born at 10:26 a.m. on the 19th of December. Praise the Lord! I'm done! All that time that seemed to pass so slowly was all in the past now and it was time to start another chapter of my life with two kids (three if you count my husband ha ha) and return to normalcy. Might I mention how helpful my husband has been in helping with Halie as I adjust to being a new mommy again. Life is good.

Hurry Up Baby!

Okay...second pregnancy...39 weeks...tired of this! Don't they say that you always go early after you've been pregnant once? I'm waiting. Had my membranes stripped today and I'm sure nothing will happen because that would be my luck. It was a short trip down to Billings though because I'd done my shopping the week before so all I had was an exchange at Old Navy, a quick Target run and my doctors appointment. Okay so we had Taco Bell too :) I was home at 3:30 which is unusual as my Billings run always takes me about 8-9 hours for some odd reason. So now it's time to say goodnight! If you have any heart at all...you'll pray this babe pops out of me tonight!

It's a windy windy day here in Shawmut, Montana. That's one thing that I absolutely hate about this area. Halie can't even fall asleep because it's howling so bad.

I am finally full-term meaning I could have this baby at any given moment...and MAN am I ready. Every night I think I'm in labor practically as my braxton hick contractions are becoming so strong and close together...but then they stop...darn it. I am guessing this will be my last post for awhile as I just don't have much to write about now. Me at 38 weeks, 3 days...full-term! Man, she could be a model! :)

Tiny Tid-bits

Haven't been on for awhile. I guess when all is said and done, life happens so quickly, that I can hardly find time to check my e-mail lately.

Baby has been sucking the life out of me from the inside out for 36 weeks now (thanks Melody) and I'm just about sick of feeling like a fat whale with a broken back. Went to the doctor yesterday and it looks like my body is getting ready to have this little bugger that I so anxiously await to hold in my arms.

Halie is still clueless as to what is going on. In the meantime, she's having fun not having to share mommy, reading books, kissing doggy noses and singing Kwinkle Kwinkle Widdle Staw while dancing to her own tune. She could care less if mommy says she's having a baby. The funny thing about two year olds is that they are only focused on the reality of now. Something I as an adult have a hard time focusing on, my two year old deals better with.

Old Hallow's Eve

It was Halie's first year trick-or-treating and my first year trick-or-treating for someone other than myself. Actually, I haven't been a part of that kind of thing since about 8th grade. I was thinking I might try and dress up with my girl this year but didn't have the energy or brains to come up with anything but a "fat cow" outfit...because that is what I feel like being 8 months pregnant.

The past three Halloween's, my mom has sent along Halie's costumes. The first year she was a pink kitty, then a monkey, and this year, a little ladybug. Very cute. The only problem was she wasn't being very camera cooperative with me so I only got about two pictures of her in her costume.After trick-or-treating all of downtown Harlowton (about 6-7 businesses in total that were open) we drove up to the nursing home and collected candy from a few residents who were more than pleased to see a cute little two year old in a red and black ladybug outfit. Halie was a little frightened by a few of the folks as she couldn't understand why they had oxygen tubes going up their noses...so we left. THEN (there should've never been a next stop as we had had enough stimulation for the day) we drove to one of the church's in town where everyone and their brother was eating hot dogs, playing silly games to win candy and shooting the...you know. First of all, Halie doesn't understand the meaning of wait in line and second I was overheating and getting claustrophobic. We weren't there for even an hour when Halie started having severe mental breakdown attacks and I had to drag her to the car (literally) where she proceeded to beg and scream for candy after she embarrassed me in front of everyone. We should've stopped with the nursing home. I know for future reference now not to over-stimulate a two year old!

We slept really good that night...the end.

License Renewal

I got my license renewed today and MAN it took forever. I was thinking since I live in such a small community, I would just waltz in and right back out again after filling out a piece of paper and smiling for the camera. Nope! I was there for about two hours! It seemed as if every old person was there having to take a driving test too (there was only one person to help you) so it was a long drawn out waiting process...with a two year old that doesn't understand the meaning of patience.

Now it's done...my picture is so up close and personal that you could probably see a booger if you looked closely. The last one you could at least see my shoulders...quite comical this one is actually. Oh well. I don't have to go back for another eight years! Halie will be TEN! WOW! :)

Halie is done with snack. Pizza dough is rising in the oven and floors still need their daily sweeping. Here is a picture of Halie and I on our front porch from yesterday morning!